


whoever you were, whatever your past... youre mine now

by N1VA



Series: old stuff new exposure [15]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Fluffy Ending, Hearing Voices, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Trans Character, Trans Joker (DCU), Trans Male Character, bruce is a total sweetheart to his baby, hes so good please, theyre both babes man i just cannot with them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1VA/pseuds/N1VA
Summary: gonna add to this one too
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Series: old stuff new exposure [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149803
Kudos: 27





	whoever you were, whatever your past... youre mine now

[Wayne won’t want you once he finds out.]

Joker growled at the irritatingly coarse voice rumbling into his ear. Well, not so much into his ear as in his head, but it was still an annoyance none the less. He contemplated taking his medication, but that would require him to move from his position sprawled out on his ratty, filthy mattress. 

“Do you mind? I’m kinda having a crisis here, all on my own. I don’t need you around to send me into one today.”

[You’re talking to me. Out loud. It’s a little too late to try and make me go away now, don’t you think?]

“Ufgh. Fuck off. Seriously. I’m really not in the mood for this shit.”

[But what I said before is true. Actually, technically, I didn’t say it, you thought it, but the point still stands. Wayne won’t want you if you tell him.]

“Why the hell are you calling him Wayne anyway?”

[Sounds classy. Classier than Bruce anyhow. Or at least better than Batsy, or whatever that dreadful nickname you call him is.]

“Whatever. Just leave me alone to die in peace.”

[Oh come on now, that’s a bit over dramatic, even by my standards…]

“WHAT PART OF GET OUTTA MY HEAD DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?”

Joker screamed incoherently for a while after that, to drown out the voice and because it felt good. Sometimes screaming to your hearts content is the best medicine. He was glad in this instance that nobody was around to hear him. Or stop him, for that matter. Eventually his respiration was reduced to stuttering little gasps. Wet trails done his face told him he’d been crying. He hadn’t noticed. 

Joker knew what the voice had been referencing. The fact that he had scars on his chest and that the space between his thighs was flat. The only person he had ever told was Harley, and even that had been a struggle.

[Disgusting, that’s what you are.]

Joker vigorously shook his head. He really was not in the state of mind to be able to handle this. With a heavy sigh he threw back the thick blankets covering him, slid off the side of his bed. He needed his meds whether he wanted them or not.

[See? You’re pathetic. This is exactly why Wayne will toss you aside. He doesn’t have the time or energy for you. He doesn’t even want you! Just accept that and you’ll be much happier. I’m the one trying to help you here…]

Joker popped the lid to the bottle, shook a few tiny white pills into his palm. Downed them with a glass of tap water. Despite having taken them not seconds before, Joker could’ve swore the voice already sounded weaker. Placebo effect, he assumed.

“I’m gonna call him. I’m gonna ask him to come over here and then I’m gonna tell him everything. Then I’ll know the truth.”

He didn’t bother to wait for the voice’s response. Joker dialed the number he knew by heart and quickly explained the situation to Bruce. Well, not the situation at whole, per say, but close enough that Bruce was willing to drop whatever he was doing and swing by.

Not fifteen minutes had passed before Joker heard the telltale sound of his Bats feet pattering up the fire escape that doubled for the entrance to his room. Bruce wasn’t wearing the suit. Which objectively made sense, but to Joker it was a small comfort regardless. 

Joker had spent the time in between thinking over exactly what he was going to say, to do, but he only managed to work himself into a nervous wreck. Seeing Bruce wasn’t helping his state as much as he’d hoped it would. If anything it was making his nerves worse.

“Bruce I-” Joker stopped. He had absolutely no idea where to begin. He stayed there, frozen in fear, until soft hands grasped his own.

“It’s okay, I’ll wait as long as you need.”

Bruce smiled gently, a rare sight even to Joker. His eyes held nothing but affection and warmth and care.

Joker broke. He started spilling himself, words flying from his lips at such speed that Bruce had to calm him down a few times, help his catch his breath.

“I’m trans. I have scars on my chest from the surgery. I can’t get on T because that would mean going to the hospital regularly and I don’t know if I can do that on my own. I can’t remember my name from before, so I don’t know who I was or what I was or any of that but if you want you can call me J. I sometimes hear voices, and sometimes they tell me to do bad things, and sometimes they tell me awful things about myself, and sometimes I want to gouge my ears out because they get so loud. I didn’t want to tell you any of this because I was terrified you’d leave me. And when I say I hate, you I’m really saying I love you. I love you, Bruce. Really I do. Even when I’m out there destroying, shit and causing trouble I’m still thinking, about coming home, to you and the kid, and Jeeves and a lot of the time that’s enough to keep me from doing really bad stuff. And-” 

Bruce cut him off by tucking Joker’s face under his chin. Fingertips traced up and down his spine. Hot breath tickled his hair. 

“J… I really couldn’t care less about who you were before. Or about the surgery. You’re a man, it’s very obvious. And you don’t need to worry about me ever leaving you. The only way I’d ever even consider leaving is if you told me to go. I’m not sure if I could do it then either. As for the voices… I’ll help you. Whatever you need. Just call me, like you did today. I’ll be there. And by the way, I love you too. ”

Joker took all of this in, let it sink deep into his mind, tried to ingrain it in his heart. 

“Say it again.”

“What, the whole thing?”

“No, just the ‘I love you too’ part.”

Bruce chuckled into his green curls. He was squeezing him tightly now, as if he never wanted to let go.

Joker would be just fine with that.


End file.
